A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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