Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
