Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
