Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
