Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
