I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
