This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
