honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
