just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
