On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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