Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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