I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How does it feel to date your dad?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
