Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
