she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
