I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
