Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
