you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
