I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize