You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
