we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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