I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
