Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
