Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
