So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
