I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she peed on how many people?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
