whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can I color on your dick again?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
