He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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