i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
