Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize