The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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