I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
