No stitches, just platelets and will power
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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