I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
