My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
