i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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