so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize