Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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