I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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