I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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