This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize