You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
