xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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