Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
