It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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