I'm jealous of your bromance
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is classic penis vs brain.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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