Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
