well most of my day revolves around power hour
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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