Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
