i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
