we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
