If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize