Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
there is glitter all over my balls
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
