My friends, they love my intelligence
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
zippers are such a cool invention
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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