she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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