Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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