your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
