She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
