turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
