Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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