Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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